New on DVD: Larry Crowne 0
“Larry Crowne” made me feel sad for Tom Hanks, something I haven’t done since he was trapped on that island with a volleyball. Even that fate was better than starring in this dreck.
Romance
New on DVD: Water for Elephants 7
Sure, on rare occasion, August likes to be forceful with his wife. Maybe sometimes he wraps his hands around her neck. But, seriously, how else are you supposed to show her who is in charge? This bitch is flat-out not behaving properly, and she must be disciplined.
New on DVD: Crazy, Stupid, Love. 0
“Crazy, Stupid, Love.” starts out like a fucking unfunny piece of shit. Somewhere between the first and second act, though, it picks up steam.
New on DVD: Monte Carlo 1
Selena Gomez is not sexy. If you are an adult and lust for her soft, child-like features, then you are potentially a sex offender and should probably be wearing a monitoring anklet (just to be on the safe side).
New on DVD: Bride Flight 0
Thankfully, all the graphic nudity and sex is limited to the (pre-geriatric) flashback scenes.
New on DVD: All God’s Creatures 2
Produced for a microscopic $20,000, it’s a true independent film in every sense of the word. But by no means mistake the term “independent” with “amateur”.
New on DVD: Last Night 0
Warning: Men should be prepared for an in-depth conversation with their significant other should they chose to make this a date movie. Prepare yourself with correct answers prior to the screening. And, no, “deny, deny, deny” is not the response that your woman is looking for.
New on DVD: No Eres Tu Soy Yo 0
If I wanted to watch shitty, cliche romantic comedies, I would at least chose one in a language I speak fluently.
New on DVD: Something Borrowed 1
If I wanted the drama of carrying on an affair, I would go cheat on my wife.
New on DVD: Jane Eyre 0
Zzzzzzzzzzz.
New on DVD: Heartbeats 1
As a foreign language art film that delves into homosexuality, I just can’t see the “Transformers 3″ audience getting in line for this one.
New on DVD: Arthur (2011) 0
The main problem I had with the “Arthur” character is that he’s much less of a drunk than he is a retarded person. His childish naivety is overplayed to the point of insult.