New on DVD: Hop

New on DVD: Hop 0

Maybe you were aware that jelly beans are actually rabbit excrement, but that was a new revelation for me.

New on DVD: Kung Fu Panda 2

New on DVD: Kung Fu Panda 2 1

I would not consider myself a Jack Black “fan”. Now that I think about it, does such a person actually exist?

New on DVD: Cars 2

New on DVD: Cars 2 3

The original “Cars” was fair at best. Sure, little boys loved it, but what the fuck do they know? Thatl film lacked the heart and universal appeal of the other Pixar masterpieces. With “Cars 2″, the franchise has been run into the ground.

New on DVD: Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil

New on DVD: Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil 0

I didn’t see the first film. In 2005, I was still single and kept busy with my womanizing. I didn’t have time for rubbish children’s fare. This time around, I wasn’t so lucky.

New on DVD: Mars Needs Moms

New on DVD: Mars Needs Moms 0

Motion-capture animation was a fun gimmick, but I’m starting to think it’s not possible to make a good film like this.

New on DVD: Rio

New on DVD: Rio 0

If I knew this was the type of shit that children enjoy, I would’ve never had one.

New on DVD: Rango

New on DVD: Rango 1

Who doesn’t love some good ole fashioned slut humor at a kids movie? I know I do! Thanks “Rango”!

New on DVD: The Illusionist (2010)

New on DVD: The Illusionist (2010) 1

“The Illusionist”, at only eighty minutes long, ends rather abruptly. So abruptly, in fact, that the crowd in the theater around me audibly groaned when the screen went black and the credits rolled.

New on DVD: Tangled

New on DVD: Tangled 0

Listen up parents. When you keep a girl sheltered for her whole life, you can only blame yourself when she jumps in bed with the first guy who shows her some attention.

New on DVD: Megamind

New on DVD: Megamind 0

The jokes in “Megamind” don’t stop for the entire 95 minutes runtime, though I found very little to laugh at.

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