New on DVD: Hop 0
Maybe you were aware that jelly beans are actually rabbit excrement, but that was a new revelation for me.
Zero Stars
New on DVD: Spy Kids 4D: All The Time In The World 0
I’m too busy for this shit.
New on DVD: The Smurfs 0
People who grew up in the 1980′s are complete fucking assholes.
New on DVD: Larry Crowne 0
“Larry Crowne” made me feel sad for Tom Hanks, something I haven’t done since he was trapped on that island with a volleyball. Even that fate was better than starring in this dreck.
New on DVD: Trespass 0
In all seriousness, this might be the worst film I’ve ever seen.
New on DVD: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan 0
This movie is for girls. Chinese girls. It’s slow, boring, uneventful, and yawn-inducing.
New on DVD: Mardi Gras: Spring Break 0
Maybe if this was 20 years ago, and the advertising said “Carmen Electra nude all film long”, she might be a selling point. This is now a 39-year old woman we are talking about. Spare me.
New on DVD: The Green Lantern 0
This film just sucked the life out of me. It’s 114 minutes of absolute and utter nonsense.
New on DVD: Monte Carlo 1
Selena Gomez is not sexy. If you are an adult and lust for her soft, child-like features, then you are potentially a sex offender and should probably be wearing a monitoring anklet (just to be on the safe side).
New on DVD: Zookeeper 1
Kevin James singing Flo Rida’s “Get Low” in a van with a talking gorilla in a button-down shirt is not funny. Am I making myself clear?
New on DVD: Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer 0
Ok, so admittedly I’m not the target audience for “Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer”. With that said, I’m intelligent enough to know a piece of shit when I see it.
New on DVD: L’Amour Fou 0
Yves Saint Laurent’s favorite quality in a man? Body hair.